In The Mourning
by RaeEssie
Summary: After 10 years, Sam moves back to Lima in hopes of finally finding what's missing in his life. However, he quickly finds out that if the past was what he was after, he would be disappointed. But sometimes what's waiting in the present is better anyway.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! This is a short chapter, it's really just to see what people think. If there's an outcry for more, I'll keep at it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or it's characters. The songs are not mine either.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

He hadn't set foot in Lima for over ten years. Part of it was because life had kept pushing him elsewhere, but it was also partly because he felt guilty. What would he say if he say any of his McKinley high friends? He had no excuse for ten years of avoidance. Facebook existed, twitter... there were so many ways he could have given them news. But he hadn't. Instead, he had contented himself with becoming a ghost in their memory though they never left his. No, he had followed Rachel's Broadway career, Mike's dance academy, Mercedes' music career. He had kept tabs on them because no matter how much he tried, he could never forget them.

Sam wasn't certain what brought him back to Lima after so long. He had just woken up one morning, tired of the New York life and made plans to move here. What was he expecting to get out of this move? Everyone was ten years older, and scattered around the country. There was no going back to the past.

Yet, he found himself in a small pub, auditioning for a part-time gig.

_I threw my life away_

_To walk you home_

_Cause it?s all I know_

_To feel like something_

_Your room is dark_

_The shadows turn their gaze_

_The light reflection out your mirror gaze_

_The candles lit to flicker light on me_

_The quiet beauty of our desperate kiss_

As he sang, he scanned the pub, taking in the details. It was rather small, but it wasn't cramped. There's was an Irish feel to it, which he appreciated. It was currently empty but for two old men, who were busy discussing politics over their lunch, and Vera, the tall English woman who worked the bar. She watched him, her lips pursed, as she scrubbed the counter.

"Alright. You can stop." she said. "You got the job. I like your style."

"Thanks," Sam stood and set the guitar on it's stand. "Is it usually crowded in here, or what?"

"Crowded would be an understatement. This a popular spot. We have an hour or two of peace and quiet before people start waltzing in." Vera shook her head in exasperation. "Then, we won't be able to sit for a while. There'll be food orders, drink orders, song requests... We give Breadstix a run for it's money."

"Great. So, do I start tonight?" he asked,making his way to her. She shook her head.

"Tonight, you sit back and watch." said Vera, smiling widely. "The boss is making a surprise appearance. You wouldn't want to miss that."

Sam frowned. "You aren't the owner?"

"Hell no. I take care of this place when Boss Lady's out of town or otherwise busy, but she's the one who spent nights scrubbing the floors and getting this old building back into shape. Blood and tears have spilled on these floors, all hers." Vera shook her head sadly. "As if she didn't have enough on her plate."

"She's had a hard time then?" asked Sam, curious.

"She's a single mother and she lost a lot of people she loved." nodded Vera. "Her folks passed a few years back. It nearly destroyed her. But, she's a fighter."

There was a loud bang and curse, followed by a child's giggle. The sound came from the kitchen. Whatever was happening in there, the cook seemed baffled and amused.

"That would be Boss Lady's son, he comes 'round sometimes after school. Just to say hi, then he'll be on his way." Vera rolled her eyes, but Sam could see that behind the facade was a lot of affection for the child he'd yet to meet. "Zachary Miller! Get your butt out here!"

No more than a few seconds later, the door that led to the kitchen was opened by a young boy of around twelve. He was tall and lanky, but Sam thought that with age and training, he'd grow up to have the perfect build. The boy, Zachary, had messy dark brown hair and striking green eyes. He had a small nose that was covered with light freckles. His pale skin was flushed in excitement. There was no doubt he would grow up to be a handsome man.

"Hey Vera," he grinned. "Are you excited to see mom tonight?"

"Always am, aren't I?" she replied and brought him into a tight hug. "Now be polite, boy. That's Sam. He's the new act. He'll be singing country and rock on Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays." The boy turned to Sam as he detached himself from Vera's embrace.

"I'm Zach." his tone was cautious as he watched Sam.

"Nice to meet you." Sam grinned, though he felt extremely self-conscious under the boy's gaze. Something about the way he watched you made you feel like you were under inspection.

"Why are you going to work here?" he asked bluntly.

"Ah, I just moved here from New York. I write comic books but sometimes I need to get away from that. That's where this gig comes in. It'll give me an excuse to get out of the house, 'cause I have a tendency of being a hermit."

Zach considered him a moment before finally nodding. "That's pretty cool. I love comic books. Mom buys me a bunch of 'em." he turned back to Vera. "Mom said I can stay until later and eat here. She'll be here in an hour or two. So, I'm going up to her office."

"But there's nothing to do-" started Vera, but Zach interrupted her.

"I got homework and I brought my PSP. Plus, I know were you guys keep the playstation. And if I'm still bored, there are a bunch of age appropriate movies on the second shelf of mom's bookcase." he spoke as though it was something he often said. Sam couldn't help but to grin at the boy's spunk.

"Fine," Vera sighed as Zach ran off. "And what did I say about interrupting me?" she called after him. But he just laughed.

"He seems nice." said Sam when they were alone again.

"He is, but he's a hand full. He approves of you, there's that." said Vera, but there was a warning in her tone. A don't-fuck-it-up warning.

"Oh?" Sam arched a brow. There was something else she wasn't mentioning. Years of character study for his comics told Sam that Zach and his story was off limits. "So what can I do until the Boss Lady herself arrives?"

**SMSMSMSMSMSMSMS**

By the time seven o'clock rolled around, the pub was packed, just like Vera had said. Sam sat at a table in a corner of the room, watching the scene before him. A band was on stage, getting their instruments ready. A hand touched Sam's shoulder, he saw it was Zach who had left his mother's office.

"You have to watch." he said. "She's the best performer."

As if on cue, the Boss Lady came on the stage and Sam was shocked into silence. It was Mercedes. Granted, she was older and she had slimmed down some, though she still had the curves he'd always appreciated, but it was _her_. Her hair was darker and shorter, but there was no mistaking her face or her mouth. She wore a tight navy blue plain dress that stop mid-tight. On her wrists were multiple gold bracelets that matched her heels.

"I haven't been here in a while." said Mercedes. "I missed you all." There was a bunch of cheers from the audience, and Sam couldn't help but smile. Beside him, Zach settled on a chair.

"That's my mom." he said quietly. "She's sad today."

"Why's that?" asked Sam. Mercedes seemed fine, but then, he hadn't seen her this close for ten years. He wasn't sure he still knew her well enough to be able to tell what she was feeling just by looking at her.

"Grams and Gramps died today, five years ago." replied Zach, his tone grieving. "I don't remember them much, but mom tells me stories sometimes. Have you ever missed someone you can't remember?"

"No, can't say I have."

"It sucks." Zach sighed. "She's going to start. You have to be quiet 'cause people hate when you interrupt her."

"Today, five years ago, my parents passed." said Mercedes. "They would still be here today if that driver in the other car had chosen to be responsible and not mix drikin' and drivin'. So I'm asking all of you, be respectful and be safe." There was a murmur of agreement and she smiled. "Now darlings, we'll start of the soirée with a little song in memory of all the people who leave us, whether it be voluntary or not."

The pub erupted into cheers and Zach clapped. "She never sings her own songs here, by the way. Mom likes to keep work and the pub separate."

The light's dimmed, and she began to tap her foot to the beat of the music. Unlike the rest of the pub, Sam was surprised to hear her sing a country-ish song. He had been used to hearing her deal with soul, blues and RnB songs. Regardless of the surprise, he was mesmerized by her voice and the grief that filled it. Her parent's death really had been hard on her, and judging by the emotion behind the song, it was still very hard.

_You escape like a runaway train_

_Off the tracks and down again_

_My heart's beating like a steamboat tugging all your burdens_

_On my shoulders_

_In the mourning I'll rise_

_In the mourning I'll let you die_

_In the mourning. All my worry._

Mercedes smiled at her audience, but Sam was certain he saw her eyes glisten.

_And now there's nothing but time that's wasted_

_And words that have no backbone_

_Now it seems like whole world 's waiting_

_Can you hear the echoes fading?_

_In the mourning I'll rise_

_In the mourning I'll let you die_

_In the mourning. All my sorry's._

There is was. The look he remembered. She didn't need to say she was lost and missing her family. Her eyes said it all. That was something the magazines never showed. The few times he had seen her in one, he had barely been able to recognize her. They never showed the haunting sadness in her eyes, they managed to hide that. But then, Mercedes had managed to keep this pub and her child to herself, so he wondered if they hid the pain per her request.

_And it takes all my strength not to dig you up_

_From the ground in which you lay_

_The biggest part of me,_

_You were the greatest thing_

_And now you're just a memory_

_To let go of…_

Mercedes smiled as the pub joined her to sing the rest of the song. It was strange to see her there, on a little stage of a crowded pub when she was known internationally. With her voice, she could sing at any stadium, any stage, but she was here. He wondered vaguely what happened to her dreams of becoming a Grammy winning singer who lived life on the fast lane. She got the Grammy winning part, but owning a small bar and having a child had never been in her plans. At least, not that he remembered.

_In the mourning I'll rise_

_In the mourning I'll let you die_

_In the mourning. all my sorry's._

She finished the song with the crowd and clapped for them as much as they clapped for her. The love wasn't one sided. With just a wave of her hand, the pub quieted, anxious to hear more.

"My baby's here tonight. Come on up, Zach!" she said smiling and pointing at Zach, still unaware of Sam's presence.

Zach didn't need to be told twice. He ran to stage, nearly tripping over chairs and legs. When he finally reached the stage, she laughed and hugged him. _"Me and you, we're different, Don't always see eye to eye, You go left, and I go right" _She drifted off into another song, an arm still around Zach's shoulders. Which, now that he though of it, didn't make sense. He seemed to be around twelve, which would mean that he was born when they were still in highschool, but that was impossible. Had Mercedes been pregnant? Of course not. She would have told the Glee club. But he moved and hadn't kept in touch. Who knew what had happened during senior year? But they looked nothing alike. Sam frowned as he watched them, searching for physical similarities. There were none. Zach didn't even look biracial. Though, genes were a tricky thing so looks never really confirmed anything. Despite that, Zach and Mercedes had an obvious bond. The boy watched her with love and awe, and she watched him with such tenderness in her eyes that it moved him.

A few songs later, she was saying her goodbyes to the Pub clients while Zach, in all his excitement, ran up to her office to gather his belongings. Sam waited patiently by the backdoor hoping to speak to her. But what would he say? There was nothing to say, except "Dear God, you made it. How does it feel to be a star?" and he supposed that wasn't something she would enjoy speaking of tonight. Luckily, Zach saw him and dragged Mercedes away from Vera, so he didn't have to think of an excuse to get closer to her.

"Mom, this is-" started Zach.

"Sam Evans. Well isn't this a surprise." Mercedes raised a brow and looked him over. "Taller than the last time I saw you. Better looking too."

He blushed under her gaze. "Mercedes, it's been a while."

"Ten years to be exact." she sighed and rubbed at her temple. "This is the part where we do some catching up, right?"

"You don't have to, I heard about your parents. We can have lunch or coffee some other day." said Sam quickly. "I just really wanted to say hi."

She softened, seeing the sincerity in his face. "No, I need a good distraction. Follow me with your car."

**SMSMSMSMSMSMSMS**

Twenty minutes later, he was sitting in Mercedes spacious living room and coffee mug in hand. For some reason, he hadn't expected her house to be so homey. He had expected furniture that cost more than a normal house would, heck, he had even half-expected maids and a butler. But while the house was quite large, it was just her and Zach. The furniture wasn't the overly priced type. Everything was normal. Mercedes just kept on surprising him.

"So, how are you?" she asked, sipping her coffee. She sat on the couch opposite to him, in a t-shirt and sweat-pants, her legs curled up under her.

"Great! I'm a comic book writer." Sam grinned and set the mug on the coffee table. "I was living in New York before, but needed a change so here I am."

"That's amazing." Mercedes smiled. "You always did love comic books. What's your series called? Zach might have it."

"The Crystal Child series, but it's not really for kids." said Sam.

"Zach's twelve, he's hardly a child. That happens to be his favorite series at the moment." Mercedes walked over to one of the book cases and took something before settling back into her spot. "See?" she held an all too familiar copy of his series. "From what I hear, you're quite talented. Zach can go on and on about your Crystal Child, the Keeper and the Seeker. His favorite character is Anne, I believe."

"Well, that might be because she's based on his mother." said Sam. He was shocked yet pleased that his series was a hit for her son. "I started the series when we were dating. Anne is based on you."

Mercedes was silent for a moment as she stared down at the comic book. "Well," she said clearing her throat. "I guess I should read it, then. I want to know what a superhero version of me would do."

"Yeah, well, you don't have to." Sam blushed. For some reason, the idea of her reading his stories scared him. What if she hated it? "What about you? I wasn't expecting a homey house on the side of a lake for Mercedes Jones. What ever happened to living the big life with the stars?"

She laughed, a sound that thrilled him. "Turns out she didn't like it. No, if age and experience has taught me anything, it's that money and fame doesn't buy happiness. The pub, this house and Zach are what keeps me going. They make every day a gift. Don't get me wrong, I love singing and my fans, but I don't want to be on the cover of every magazine, I don't need all the attention. Not anymore. Sometimes I have to go to L.A and New York, but most of my work is done in town and keep away from the limelight. That works for me. I need stability for Zach."

"He's a cute kid." said Sam.

"Yeah, he's a cutie. Reminds me of you actually. Infuriating,yet charming." she laughed again. "He's going to break a few hearts when he's older."

"Can I..." Sam raked a had through his hair. "Am I..."

"What?"

"is he mine?"

Mercedes frowned. "What on- oh, my God." This time, when she laughed, her eyes filled with tears, and he could only sit there embarrassed. "No, no. Sam, Zach is not your son. He's been with me for six years. The adoption was final last year."

"He knows?"

"Yes. We're working on getting his last name changed." she softened. "The first time I saw him, he was so little... He was hurt, at first he was scared of me, but we worked past that, eventually. There's still work to be done, though."

"He's had a hard time, then?" asked Sam.

"You could say that." she smiled, but Sam noticed the change of tone. He had been right. Zach was off limits. "As much as I love talking to you, Santana comes back from her vacation tomorrow morning and she'll want to talk all about it, so I should get some sleep."

"That's fine. I get it." Sam grinned and pushed to his feet. "She lives in Lima?"

"She lives here." Mercedes shrugged. "She and I have been living together for a few years now. Brittany used to as well, but they had a falling out. Don't look at me like that." She laughed at his confused expression.

"Why does she live with you?" he asked slowly.

"When I first got Zach, his psychologist was worried that my job would make it hard to care for him. I was working on my first CD out back then, my career was just starting. Santana's a lawyer, so her job is stable and she works in town. We took custody of him together, because they weren't going to let me have him alone- even if I just wanted to be a foster family for him." said Mercedes as she led him to the front door. "After I adopted him, Santana stayed. It just became a habit. He likes his Aunt Tana close anyway. "

"That doesn't sound like Santana at all." admitted Sam, surprised at the way Mercedes was describing the feisty Latina.

"Well, she hasn't changed that much, believe me." laughed Mercedes. "Our bond has, though. She's like a sister and she loves Zach. She'll be happy to see you."

"Tell her I'm looking forward to catching up." Sam considered hugging Mercedes, but the woman who stood in front of him wasn't at all like the one he remembered. There was so much he had missed, so much she hadn't said. She was practically a stranger. Instead, he just smiled. "I'm looking forward to seeing you around, Miss Jones."

"I've missed you, Sam." Mercedes opened the door and looked at him seriously. "Seeing you today was exactly what I needed. Drive safely."

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><p><strong>Songs<strong>

_Where We Started_ - Iwan Rheon [sung by Sam]

_I__n The Mourning_- Paramore [sung by Mercedes]

**That's all for this chapter. This was just a test run. Are you guys interested? Do I stop... or continue? Tell me what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the kind reviews! **

**Just a little message: Yes, I used the same flashback scene as I did in my other fic, "All of me". There's a reason for that: that's my headcanon. Please don't be upset. Think of this as an alternative time line, where Sam never actually came back to Lima for his senior year. Um, some parts of this are dark, and I'm sorry.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>

_This was the worst day of her life. There was such a heaviness in the air that she was scared to crumble under the tension. For some reason, the possibility of Sam leaving had never crossed her mind. It was as though she had spent the last month in a fantasy, where troubles disappeared. But like all fantasies, this one came to an abrupt end. Sam stood in front of her, tears streaming down his pale face. This was real, in every painful way. He had never cried in front of her, not even when he talked his home situation. But he was crying now. _

_"I don't want to leave." he said, his voice wavering._

_"We don't have to be over, Sam. We can-"_

_"No." came his interruption. "We can't... this can't work."_

_It was like a slap in the face to her, but she forced herself to accept it for now. Maybe, he didn't love her as much as she loved him. They hadn't been dating a really long time, it was foolish to hope that her feelings had been returned with the same intensity._

_"I love you." she whispered. He pulled her into a hug, sobbing._

_"I love you more." he whispered against her ear. Mercedes would have asked him again to try the long distance relationship, but she knew it was no use. She stepped back and dragged him to the living room. She was thankful her parents weren't home. Sitting on the couch, she gestured for him to join her. He did so, and laid down, resting his head on her laps. Slowly, Mercedes began running one hand through his hair while stroking his arm with the other. It took everything she had not to breakdown when she felt him shake from the intensity of his tears._

_"You're leaving and you're going to get the house you deserve, the stability you deserve..." Mercedes felt her voice waver. "I'm going to be happy for you. And I'm going to pray for you. I'm never going to forget you." she let the tears fall freely, surprisingly, her voice was calm. "We'll be fine, Sam. Even if we aren't together. I have enough faith in you to know that whatever happens, you'll be fine. You'll be alright. And us, we'll always be perfect. We didn't have time to mess this up, You'll be flawless in my memories." He grabbed the hand that was stroking his arm and laced her fingers with his own. She heard him sniffle and smiled sadly. Tonight, she'd be strong for both of them. Tomorrow she'd cry._

_"Just close your eyes_

_The sun is going down_

_You'll be alright_

_No one can hurt you now_

_Come morning light_

_You and I'll be safe and sound"_

_She sang softly, trying to soothe both him and herself. Mercedes closed her eyes when Sam brought her hand to his lips. This would be the last time he kissed her. The last time she'd play in his hair. The last time she'd feel the warmth of his body against hers._

_"Don't you dare look out your window darling_

_Everything's on fire_

_The war outside our door keeps raging on_

_Hold onto this lullaby_

_Even when the music's gone"_

_With every word she sang, Sam tightened his grip on her hand until it was numb. He might not love her as much as she loved him, but she knew he felt something. She'd try to hold on to that._

_"Just close your eyes_

_The sun is going down_

_You'll be alright_

_No one can hurt you now_

_Come morning light_

_You and I'll be safe and sound"_

_Sam sat up, his eyes red and puffy. He stared at her for what seemed like an hour, taking in every detail of her face. He noted things he had never paid attention to before. He wanted every detail of her, painted in his mind. With a sad smile, he leaned forward and kissed her sweetly. He tried to keep it fast and simple, but found himself deepening the kiss until he couldn't breathe. She was everywhere; in his the blood pumping through his veins, in the air, in him. She was everything._

_"I love you." he whispered, for the second time that night. His forehead pressed against hers, he wiped her tear-streaked cheeks with his thumbs._

_That was the last time she would see Sam Evans. To hell with crying tomorrow, she thought as she heard the front door closed behind him. Mercedes would cry now._

_._

_._

"Australia is beautiful." said Santana, leaning against the kitchen counter while she watched Mercedes unload the dishwasher. She had arrived an hour earlier and after a warm shower she was finally ready to gush about the two weeks she had spent down under. Zach was at school, leaving the house quiet. "The beaches, the wildlife... If you're still set on bringing Zach somewhere during Winter break next year, I strongly suggest Oz."

"Yeah?" Mercedes looked up from the cake she was decorating and sighed. "But there are bugs, Tana. The big kind." she shuddered at the thought.

"Which is sort of a good thing." insisted Santana. "You can't miss them. It's not like they'll ever surprise you. They can't sneak up, scare you half to death then run off again."

Mercedes, not at all convinced, grimaced. "There are snakes and sharks."

"You are such a baby." laughed Santana. "Tell you what, we'll all go. You, me and Zach. We'll protect you if any bugs or shark decide to attack you."

"Is it really that pretty?" asked Mercedes.

"Yeah, it is." Santana smiled. "It's really what I needed after the breakup. People are really friendly there. But next time, I'm not going alone."

"I'll look into it." said Mercedes, and was amused to see Santana pump her fist.

"So what happened when I was away?"

Mercedes' thoughts went back to last night, to Sam and his crooked smile. She had been dreading the moment she would have to talk about it. Brushing it off was tempting, but Santana had the knack of finding things out. Besides, if Vera didn't tell her about his gig at the Pub, Zach would gladly tell her. There was no getting out of this. "You know those comic books you read with Zach? The Crystal Child ones?" she asked slowly.

"Mhm, What about them?" asked Santana.

"What do you think about Anne?"

"Well, which one? She has two identities. Two different types of personalities." answered Santana. "The writer took a lot of care with her character especially. Well, he or she took care with the whole story, but Anne is something else. Why?"

"I met the author yesterday. At the pub." muttered Mercedes. "He said the character was based on me."

"Wait, what?" frowning, Santana leaned forward and searched her friend's face for any sing of a joke. "You're actually serious. That's really cool. Zach'll be thrilled. Oh, does he know? Wait until I tell him. His face-"

"Santana."

Santana stopped rambling and eyed Mercedes. "What aren't you telling me?"

"The author was Sam." Mercedes sighed. "Sam Evans."

"Shut the fuck up." Santana stared.

"He was there, at the pub. Then he was here, in our living room."

"Why?" asked Santana suspiciously. "We haven't seen him in ten years."

"He said he moved back. For now at least." Mercedes smiled. "He looked good, Tana. He wants to catch up with you."

"Well, I don't want to catch up with him." her tone bitter. "I don't have anything nice to say to guppy face, so it's best if I keep my distance."

Mercedes laughed. "Tana, come on, you can't still be obsessed about the size of his mouth."

"No, I'm not, even though it was freakishly large." Santana crossed her arm. "He just left, 'Cedes. He never answered our messages, never bothered to call. Now he's back? It broke your heart."

"Maybe he had a good reason." offered Mercedes.

"Ten years, 'Cedes. Ten fucking years. And you missed him every single day."

"That's not true." snapped Mercedes. "I forgave and forgot years ago.",

"Really? Is that why you get all teary eyed when 'Safe and Sound' plays?" countered Santana. "Because you forgot? Don't lie to me. I know you better than anyone."

"Look, don't worry about me. We dated a few months in high school that's all." said Mercedes, sighing. "Besides, I have Zach now."

Santana grunted, not believing her friend at all. But she let it go for now. Maybe she'd agree to a little reunion, just out of curiosity. "How is Zach? I missed him."

"He missed you too." Mercedes relaxed, pleased with the change of subject. "He's happy."

"And Natasha, as she contacted you?" asked Santana.

"No. Thank God." Mercedes sighed at the mention of Zach biological mother. "But she's in the region, so we'll have to keep an eye on Zach."

"Does he know?"

"Not yet. I wanted to wait for you before saying anything. I just hate upsetting him."

Santana nodded. "I know, but it's better he knows. He trusts us enough to know we'll never let him go back to her. We love him."

"Yes, well I think your temper somewhat comforts him." said Mercedes with a pointed look. "How can anyone hurt him, when they know you've a chainsaw just waiting to get used?"

"Hey, I look out for my own." laughed Santana. "Now, get out of the mom clothes, we're going out for a late lunch."

**SMSMSMSMMSMSMSMS**

Sam didn't know why he stood in front of Mercedes' house. It seemed to be the season of 'what am I doing' situations. But he had missed her. He had spent the night tossing and turning in his bed, thinking of the past. She intrigued him. Her son intrigued him. And damn it, he had wanted her. She was beautiful. More than the last time he saw her. But her eyes, they were filled with such sadness that it was haunting. He wanted nothing more than to kiss the pain away. But that was wrong, wasn't it? He pushed the thought out of his mind, convincing himself that it was the result of six months without good sex. He was ashamed just thinking of it

The front door opened slowly, and Sam saw Zach peek his head out.

"How long are you going to stand there?" he asked. "You look like your plotting to kill us."

Sam laughed and jogged to the porch. "Hey, Zach. Is your mom home?"

"No, she should be back soon." Zach hesitated before opening the door wider. "You can wait inside if you want. Aunt Tana and Mom got stuck in traffic."

Sam nodded and stepped inside. "Were you alone all day?" This earned him a funny look from Zach.

"No, I had school. I just came home."

Sam nodded "Cool."

Zach closed the door behind him, and led Sam to the living room. "How do you know my mom?" he asked as he settled onto one of the sofas, much like Mercedes had the night before.

"She and I went to high school together." answered Sam.

"Were you friends? Because she never said anything about a Sam Evans." said Zach, bluntly.

"Ah, yeah we were actually great friends." said Sam carefully. Yea, the boy was certainly raised by Mercedes and Santana. There was no doubt about it. "We were in Glee club together. You're very direct."

"Aunt Tana says it's best to let your enemy know you aren't a push over." Zach shrugged.

"I'm the enemy?"

"I don't know you." said Zach.

"You can trust me." laughed Sam, sitting opposite to him.

"That's what everyone says, until they stab you in the back." he said seriously. "Words never count. The actions do."

"You're right." uncomfortable with the sudden tension, Sam glanced down at the coffee and noticed the comic book Mercedes had showed him the night before. "You read this?" he asked pointing.

"Yeah, all the time. I read the series five times _and_ I hear they want to make a movie about it." said Zach. Sam smiled when he saw the boy's eyes light up with joy when he asked him to talk about the series. There was great satisfaction in seeing someone else believe in the characters he had created. Zach was smart and made observations about the characters and the plot that most kids his age wouldn't. Before they knew it, half an hour had passed and they hadn't even begun talking about the relationship between the characters. Their conversation was cut short by the sound of a car pulling up and yelling.

"Zach!"

They heard Mercedes' voice first. Her words were dripping in fear and panic. Next, was another woman's voice, which Sam assumed belonged to Santana, who was cursing in Spanish. Before he knew it, they both burst through the front door. Sam stood quickly, as did Zach.

"Zach, what the hell-" Mercedes' eyes fell on Sam and she sighed. She made a mental note to take his licenses plate number, for future reference. "I saw the car and-"

"Mom, I'm fine." said Zach quickly. He ran to the women, who gripped him tightly.

"What did we say about letting strangers in the house?" said Santana as she kissed his cheek. "You scared us, don't ever do that again."

"You don't always have to worry," said Zach trying to soothe them.

"It's our job to worry." said Mercedes calmly, but she gave Santana a look that told Sam something was up.

"Well, who did you-" for the first time since her arrival, Santana looked at Sam. As she walked to him, Sam saw her jaw clench, her cheeks flush in anger, and braced himself for what was to come. She slapped him. It was a hard slap right across the cheek. Then, she hugged him. "You bastard. I've missed your guppy face." she said again his chest.

"I've missed you too." he said quietly. "Both of you." he added, glancing at Mercedes.

"Well, that's your own doing." she said sniffling as she stepped back. "Just to be clear, I hate you."

"Why are you here Sam?" asked Mercedes. Her voice wasn't as welcoming as he had hoped it would be, but he chose to ignore that, after all, he had just terrified her.

"To see Santana, to see you." Sam shrugged. It was the truth, wasn't it? Why else would his subconscious have led him here?

"This may not be the best time-"

"It's the perfect time. Let's catch up." interrupted Santana.

"But Zach-" started Mercedes.

"I'll play in the backyard, it's fine." he said quickly and ran away before she could stop to him.

"Tana, I need to talk to him." said Mercedes.

"Give him a few minutes, then you can go. You need to calm down anyway."

**SMSMSMSMMSMSMSMS**

Twenty minutes later, they were sitting at the table in the dining room, laughing at memories of the Glee club. They had had great moments. Some not so great but somehow when remembering them they weren't that bad. Santana still laughed at the Trouty Mouth song, much to Sam's embarrassment. There was only one wound for which time hadn't helped heal, and that was the loss at Nationals. Santana still raged at the on-stage kiss. So much in fact, that Sam had to change the subject before things got out of hand.

"It's weird seeing you with a kid." Sam told Mercedes.

"That much?"

"Yeah, but it suits you. What's weirder is seeing you being nice." he added to Santana, who laughed.

"I wasn't that bad." she said, and laughed at the incredulous looks that they gave her. "Maybe I was. I'm still a bitch, but I tone it down for Zach." she smiled softly, and he could see that she really loved him.

"So, Brittany lived here before?" asked Sam.

"Yep. But things didn't work out." said Santana shortly.

Mercedes put a comforting hand on her shoulder and squeezed. She was right, thought Sam. Their bond had changed, they had become family in the truest sense of the world. In the wise words of Bobby Singer 'Family don't end in blood', and they proved that. At least, they did from what he had seen so far.

"You two catch up." said Mercedes. "I need to talk to Zach. It's time, otherwise he won't sleep." There it was. The same look they had given each other when they had barged in the house, worried.

"Good luck. Just shout if you need me." said Santana as Mercedes walked off to find Zach.

"There will be shouting, but I can handle it," she replied. When she was gone, Sam looked at Santana, brows raised.

"What was that?" he asked slowly.

"Nothing important." she waved a hand, dismissing it. "So, 'Cedes tells me you write comic books." Since she seemed genuinely interested, Sam smiled.

"Yeah, I started my series when were still in high school. It was just for fun at first, but by the time I finished college, the characters had a mind of their own and a story they wanted to tell."

"I can respect that." she said nodding. "You're good at what you do. 'Cedes also told me Anne was based on her." when Sam didn't answer, she continued. "So, you just spend a decade writing a comic book about your ex-girlfriend. Don't you think that's odd?"

"Not really. It's my job." said Sam quickly, but he could tell she had found a subject that interested her and she wasn't going to let it go. No, she wasn't nicer, she was sneakier.

"Huh, you're not married." she said glancing at his left hand. "I'm guessing you don't have a girlfriend, am I right?" Sam grunted in response. She really hadn't changed. "How has your romantic life been over the last ten years?"

"Uh, well..." he raked a hand through his hair and sighed. "I mean there have been women, but no one important. I was busy with my comic book-"

"Right, the comic book whose lead character is based on your ex-girlfriend." said Santana with a smirk. "So there has been a girl in your life, the ghost of Mercedes Jones. I don't know if that's tragic or pathetic."

"She was right, You haven't changed." he muttered.

"Why mess with perfection, Evans? Just calling it like I see it." she said smugly. "Maybe you can't or won't see it yet but-" A loud yell interrupted her and she scrambled to her feet. "Stay!" she said to him, as she walked quickly to the kitchen. Sam, despite her order, followed her. She stood still, staring out the window over the sink.

Outside, by the lake, Zach was crying and screaming denials while Mercedes watched him. She looked so heartbroken that Sam had to look away for a moment. Santana gripped the side of the counter so tightly that her knuckles were white.

Sam saw Zach finally calm down, and fall into his mother's arms, sobbing uncontrollably. Mercedes eventually pulled him back, and while he couldn't hear what they were saying, he saw Zach calm down visibly. Beside him, Santana let out a shaky breath and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"That whore ruins everything." she said quietly. "Not Mercedes," she added quickly, seeing his expression. "You should go."

He opened his mouth to protest, but she held up a hand. "But you won't. Some things never change. I don't know how much longer you're going to keep lying to yourself, but while you're here, you can make yourself useful. I'll take Zach to his room and you can be there for her."

"But-" Sam frowned. What was he going to say? It wasn't his place to say anything anymore. He wanted to stay and make sure she was fine, but he hadn't expected to actually do something. Not because he didn't want to, but because he was suddenly afraid she would push him.

"Don't even try. I know you like to live in your delusional land where you came back because you missed Lima, but no one misses this town." she snapped. "So do us all a favor and remove that handsome head from your ass and use that thing you call a brain. You came back because you missed _her _and for some reason, you can't admit that. Now's the time to man up and go talk to the woman you love because she's hurting."

Taken aback by her outburst, Sam took a step back and dug his hands in his pockets. Maybe she was right, he had never let himself really think about it. Still, he denied it. "I don't love her anymore, not like you mean." his wasn't convincing, even to himself.

"Why don't you read that precious series of yours then come back and tell me you don't." Santana glared at him. "We aren't children anymore."

"Look, I don't know why I'm back. Honestly. I missed all of you." said Sam. Santana rolled her eyes and scoffed. "I did. I'm sorry I never contacted you."

"What about Mercedes?" asked Santana. "Be honest."

"Maybe some part of me hoped she wasn't married or seeing someone. I don't know. Seeing her again made me remember our summer. I missed her more than anyone." he answered honestly. "But I haven't had the chance to think anything through yet."

"Fine. You think about it, then you do something about it." said Santana, softening. "I'm happy you're back, Sam. But 'Cedes is my girl and I stand by her. You mess up again and I won't hesitate to kick that gorgeous ass of yours. Now go see her, Zach's coming in."

**SMSMSMSMMSMSMSMS**

Mercedes stood, arms crossed and facing the lake. Her eyes filled as she remembered the look in Zach's eyes when she told him Natasha was in the region. She tried to convince herself that telling him was for the best, but nothing stopped the guilt. She heard Sam before she saw him. Of course he came. She guessed Santana had put him up to it, but even if she hadn't, Sam wasn't one to leave when people were hurt.

"Not now, Sam." Her tone was cold. "This is _really_ not the time."

"You're upset." he said quietly.

"I have been for a while now." she rolled her eyes at his remark and unfolded her arms.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, Mercedes." he grabbed her hand when she tried to move away. "I never meant to. I missed you everyday."

"Then why didn't you contact me?"

"I don't know. But when I do, when I finally sort through ten years of bullshit, you'll be the first to know."

"Look, you don't need to explain everything, Sam. But you can't come back into my life and act like nothing happened. Stop telling me you missed me, because you spent the last decade showing me you didn't." her voice hitched, and Sam silently cursed himself for adding to her pain.

"Mercedes,"

"Don't. I'm happy you're back." she smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes. "Zach's thrilled to have is favorite comic book writer in town, he'll be begging to hang out with you every chance he gets. I just told him. I'm hoping we can be friends."

"We can be, and Zach's welcome any time." he said quickly, desperately. The way she spoke sounded more like a goodbye despite the words. "You changed."

"I grew up. I'm not the person you used to know anymore and in some ways that's a good thing." she said wearily. Suddenly, she seemed exhausted.

"Besides me, what's worrying you?" asked Sam, thinking of what he had seen just a few minutes before.

"Nothing."

"Come on. You said we could be friends." he whispered. Going with instinct, he reached for her hand again, and was pleased when she didn't pull away. "Ten years may have passed, but we still have a connection. You can't deny that. Trust me."

Mercedes hesitated. Part of her didn't want to talk to him about her problems. The thought of depending on him again wasn't one she found appealing. The last time she had depended on him, he had left without ever looking back, leaving her heartbroken. But there was the other part of her who desperately needed to talk to someone, anyone who wasn't directly involved with Zach. Someone who wasn't attached. And he was there.

"The first time I saw Zach, he was hiding behind a big garbage bin behind Breadstix. He was so little. Thin with dark and frightened eyes." she took a deep breath. "Naturally, I couldn't leave him there. He was six years old. After a lot of convincing, I brought him to my parents' house and we got him cleaned up while we waited for the police. The things he told us..." Mercedes shuddered. "His mother was a crackhead and a prostitute. Half the time, she was too far gone to realize he was there. He often went without food."

"That's horrible." said Sam. He knew there was a story behind Zach's adoption but he had not expected to hear this.

"It gets worse." she said bitterly. "Sometimes, the men she brought home had a preference for little boys. When Natasha realized she could use Zach, she did."

"No-" Sam felt the blood drain from his face as the thought of what she was implying.

"Yes. The system doesn't always work. Zach stayed with her another year before they actually put him in foster care. By then, he'd been a toy for countless men, he'd had several broken bones..." she was cool and collected as she spoke. He had never seen her so detached from emotions.

"I don't understand. You said he's been with you for six years."

"Well, technically, he's been living with me for three. But I've been a part of his life for six years." said Mercedes. "The foster family that took care of him were good people."

"But..." pressed Sam, though he wasn't certain he wanted to hear the rest.

"Natasha cleaned up her act, and they sent him back."

"But she was his mother and she hurt him!" Anger filled him. He remembered the handsome boy he had met just yesterday and imagined the look on his face when they told him he was going back to that woman. No child should go back to that and he couldn't understand why they would make him.

"Exactly. She was his mother. A few days after he went back, I got a call from the hospital. One of her johns got upset and torched the house they lived in. Something about money and payback or whatnot. I'm sure there's a story there, but I never cared enough to listen. That was the last straw. Zach wasn't going back to her. Santana helped me a lot. She moved in, we proved that we would be able to give him a safe environment and eventually, they let us keep him."

"Why would Santana do that?" asked Sam. Santana wasn't a mean person, but he had never known her to go out of her way to actually help someone that wasn't going to help her back in some way.

"Because it was important to me and then she fell in love with him. She doesn't get enough credit, but she loves Zach as much as I do." she smiled sadly, and Sam saw now how grateful she was. "The first year was the worst. He trusted us more than others, but there was still a lot I needed to do to prove myself. Who could blame him? He'd seen more crap than most of us do in a life time. Some nights he'd wake up screaming and we'd have to tell him a hundred times over that he wasn't in that house, that he was safe. He hated being touched. It didn't matter that I had spent a little under three years trying to help him, because the one person who was supposed to love him unconditionally was the one who hurt him in the first place."

Despite himself, Sam had to shut his eyes to keep the tears from spilling. It killed him to think of a child so helpless. He hated knowing that a mother could let someone touch their child. And Mercedes had to deal with that for six years, alone until Santana eventually gave a helping hand.

"But he trusts you now and he loves you."

"Yeah. But she's back in the region. And every time Natasha's here, she has to see Zach. She can't help it. And every time, she reopens old scars. I'm tired of seeing my son suffer." her voice broke.

"You saved his life you know." said Sam quietly.

"Did I? When I met him, I was unhappy. My career was moving along slower than I thought it would, I'd just ended an engagement... But after him everything seemed to fall into order. My career kicked off, I got my Grammy and I got him. If anything, we saved each other. Without him and Santana, I'm not sure how I would have coped after my parents' death." she sighed, and he squeezed her hand in support."You know what my biggest fear is?"

"No."

"Loosing him. I'm scared Natasha is going to come back one day and take him away. Santana goes back to work tomorrow, and I have work at the studio until five... that makes two hours he'll be alone here while _she's_ on the loose." she referred to Zach's mother with such disgust that he couldn't help but wonder what their meetings had been like.

"Well, why don't I take care of him?" he offered, surprising even himself.

"No, Sam, I didn't say that to make-" started Mercedes, quickly.

"I know. Just so we're clear, I'm not babysitting. He can be my apprentice, I'll teach him how to draw and stuff. He can help me with my comic book." the more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea. It would give him an excuse to see Mercedes, but more importantly, he could be an extra pair of eyes on Zach. "You know, guy time. I want to help."

"I'm not sure..." she said slowly.

"Please? Consider this a favor from a friend. He'll be with me, so you won't have to worry about him being home alone. I live right beside the school, so he won't have to walk far. Let me help you."

"I- if Zach agrees, then yes. Thank you." she smiled and hugged him quickly.

"No problem at all." he grinned as she pulled back. "I'll guess I'll head home now. You need to be with Zach and Santana. I'll call him tomorrow and talk to him. Sounds good?"

"Perfect." she murmured as she walked back to the house with him. Santana would have plenty to say about this, and plenty of time to put her theories to test. But that didn't bother Mercedes for now. All that mattered was that Zach was safer now than he had been that morning.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Song<span>**

_**Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift and The Civil Wars.**_

**That's that for this chapter. Um, this is pretty dark isn't it? I'm an awful person. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this. Please review! They keep me going.**

**Fun fact: the dialogue between Santana and Mercedes is highly based on the conversations between myself and my mother. Not so much what they say, but the way they interact with each other.**


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